Choosing the perfect Pet Memorial Marker

Living in an apartment as a kid, I grew up as a cat person since we were not allowed to have dogs. I honestly don’t ever recall wanting a dog – maybe because none of my friends had one either and I didn’t know what I was missing. That all changed when I got married in in 1996. My wife grew up with dogs and insisted we have one. Well, a few years later when we could afford our first home, a new chocolate lab puppy was quick to follow. She was just perfect. Her name was Bailey.
Ten years and two kids later, our dear Bailey fell victim to cancer. How could we now pay a proper tribute to her for all the love she gave us? We did decide to cremate her and plan to have a marker made to put in the garden to always remember her.

There are a lot more choices than you might realize

These types of pet memorials are often called Markers, Headstones or Plaques. They are most often used in pet cemeteries but have gained a growing popularity in gardens and backyards. There are many materials available for pet markers – but nearly all are made to be weather resistant and durable for outdoor use.

Granite Pet Markers

Granite is the most common since it’s both very strong and equally as beautiful. Granite can be either sandblasted, etched or laser engraved. Laser photo engraving has gained wide popularity the past few years with the improvement in technology. A simple photograph can be finely engraved producing a stunning likeness on the marker. It takes a skilled craftsman and special equipment to produce these results but the time and effort is very much worth it. Most granite pet memorial markers are meant to lay flat on the ground and are perfect to use either at home or a pet cemetery. They are typically priced between $90 and $500, depending on the marker’s size, thickness and amount of wording and photos.

Stone Pet Markers

These are large natural stones, like river stones. They are sandblasted to etch in wording and a small design. Their irregular shape limits the amount of characters and prevents photos from being engraved but their natural beauty is perfect for a garden. They are easy to maintain and retain a natural appearance for many years. They typically start at $70.


Plaque Memorial Markers

Plaque markers are made from recycled aluminum and are used as stand up memorials that secure into the ground with stakes. They are custom formed and painted for every order, incorporating the exact wording and dates for each pet. These types of markers have been most used as garden signs but were recently adopted to use as pet memorials. Their beauty and durability make them a great alternative to the traditional marker. Prices are very affordable, starting at only $59.95.

Cremation Pet Urns/Markers
These fairly recent type of pet markers have gained popularity the past few years. They serve a dual purpose as both a cremation urn and pet memorial marker. They contain a container built into the urn to hold the pet’s ashes. As with the other type of markers, they are durable and weather resistant to withstand the elements. These types of pet markers come in several different materials including concrete and resin. The concrete pet markers are hand formed and include verses and can be engraved with a pet’s name. The resin markers are formed from a tough plastic material, available in several colors. Both are great alternatives to a traditional pet memorial marker. They are typically priced between $65 and $150.

Traditional Upright Pet Markers or Headstones
Upright pet markers are modeled after traditional cemetery monuments. They can be simple to extremely extravagant and the prices can be the same. They are typically made from granite and require a granite base to mount onto. The traditional human headstone companies often make them for pets as well since the scale is much larger than most small pet marker companies can accommodate. These type headstones typically start at $400.

So you can see why we’ve had such a tough time on what type of marker to get for our Bailey. Even though we’re in the pet memorials business and provide memorial markers for customer every day, it never makes it easier when it’s your own pet. I just know that when we do have a marker made for her, it will be just like she was, “perfect”.
Steve Mondazzi
http://www.petsweloved.com/

877-PetCasket (738-2275)

Book Review Buckley's Story Lessons From A Feline Master Teacher By Ingrid King

A great book review provided Caren Gittlemanby the Cat Chat with Caren and Cody blog (http://opcatchat.blogspot.com)

"I knew this book was going to be a hard read for me because I knew the ending was going to be sad, but I had no idea just how hard it would be for me to read, how very, very deeply it would affect me and how it would resonate with me on so many levels.


Buckley's Story ripped my heart out.

Buckley's Story starts out quite nicely. It details how the author (Ingrid King) came to meet Buckley "the little cat with the huge spirit" and a deformed rear leg when she was managing a Veterinary hospital. Ingrid describes this strong and feisty tortoiseshell cat by using the word "joy"

"She was a joyful being, and she brought joy to everyone who came into contact with her. Joy can be an elusive quality for many of us, but it is the ultimate goal of a life well lived." Webster's defines joy as "the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires."

Ingrid knew deep in her soul that a few of the things that Buckley desired was to live without the confines of a cage and to live in Ingrid's home along with her patient, understanding and wise cat (also a tortoiseshell cat) Amber.

"Buckley was one of the two little cats, and she believed with all her heart that there was such a place and such a person just for her. She knew in the very depth of her being that some day she was going to find the person and that place. She never gave up on her dream, no matter how bad things were in the present moment."

It took Ingrid a number of attempts of trying to move Buckley home with she and Amber to really "get" this.

Ingrid also learned through Buckley that her own joy would come not by being employed by others but by listening to her heart and setting off to start a business of her own, a business that has led to many successful side ventures that without Buckley quite possibly she may have never tried.

"Some of Buckley's freedom-seeking spirit started to rub off on me, and I began to explore other career options."

Of the many lessons that Buckley taught Ingrid, one of the most important was to "stay in the moment and not get ahead of myself with worry." She had to repeat this to herself many times when Buckley was diagnosed with a heart condition.

This is where the book hit too close to home. My beloved Bobo was diagnosed with a heart condition when he was approximately 16 yrs old. I was told during the original diagnosis that he would maybe have days, weeks or months. With the love, caring and professionalism of my Veterinarian (I was lucky enough to have a Vet similar to Jack and Janet who were Ingrid's friends/initial employers) my Bobo lived for 2 more years.

I cried when Ingrid described with great professionalism/knowledge the details of the disease (labored breathing, water retention, etc.). I relived those final days spent with my "baby" as I read how Ingrid relived hers with Buckley.

I cried at the frustration that Ingrid felt when she was forced at one point to take Buckley to an emergency clinic (I had had a similar experience)

I cried along with Ingrid as she detailed her struggling with the inevitable decision to let Buckley go, to let her be at peace. (To this day I second guess myself.)

I cried when Ingrid clipped and saved some of Buckley's fur. (Some of Bobo's fur is in a heart-shaped porcelain box in my dresser)

I cried when she had Buckley euthanized at home. (My vet also euthanized Bobo at home which I am not sure if I could go through again.)

I cried as if I had lost my baby the day I read the book instead of the nearly 3 and a half years it has now been since he passed. Pet lovers "get this", not just cat lovers but anyone who has had to say a final goodbye to a beloved pet.

A few of my favorite and most comforting passages from Buckley's Story are the following:

"I think it's impossible to ever be completely comfortable with the decision to end the life of someone we love so much. We do not want our pets to suffer, and when we are really in tune with our animals, we know when they are ready to make their transition."

"However, our animals also love us so much that they often stick around longer than they might want to because they know how much we will miss them when they're gone."

"I believe that animals and humans are eternal beings. We never really die, we simply transition to a nonphysical state, and so do our animals."

"The connection from soul to soul is eternal."

That is one of the many "lessons from a feline master teacher" that Buckley has left us.

That offers me great comfort.

"Animals open our hearts. It's hard to resist unconditional love. We may try to stay guarded, but once an animal opens your heart, things change. And once your heart opens, life starts to expand."

That....is Buckley's Story, and despite the tears, I loved it!




For more information about Ingrid King or to purchase Buckley's Story, visit http://www.ingridking.com/ or http://www.iuniverse.com/, or call 1-800-AUTHORS, or visit your local book store or preferred on-line retailer.

Thanks to Ingrid King the consummate cat professional for affording me the opportunity to review this wonderful book. I received no compensation, just a copy of a book that I will always treasure.

Posted by http://www.petsweloved.com

Helping Your Child Cope with the Loss of a Beloved Pet

My family and I have lost several dearly loved pets over the years. My children, now 12 and 10 have experienced the pain of pet loss and my wife and I have done our best to support and comfort them. I am not a professional counselor but hope this advice, drawn from our own experiences, can help your children with the loss of a pet.

Helping your child to deal with the loss of a pet can be very difficult. A child can have an almost parent/child relationship with a pet and not just a buddy/buddy relationship. So you want to be cautious when handling the situation as the result may have an influence on your child's outlook on life, death, social interactions, empathy for others, and even their own sense of emotional security.

Each situation may have to be handled a little differently. For example, if a pet goes missing and you don't know what happened, closer for the child may be difficult as they will be unsure if the pet is okay or not.

If this happens, you want to tell him or her things like "They might come back, 'he/she' is probably having an adventure some where" and if more time passes you can say "You took care of 'him/her'' very well, if they did pass away you don't have to worry about him/her thinking that you didn't love him/her".

Losing a pet to a car accident or a very brief illness can be especially traumatic if the child witnesses the event or does not have a chance to say goodbye. If your family pet has been in an accident or died of an illness. In this instance, you want to try saying "There wasn't anything you could do", again you'd want to add "You took very good care of him/her..." and "You don't have to worry, he/she isn't suffering any more" or "he/she is in a better place now".

If your pet is suffering from a long term illness and the decision to Euthanize has been made, try to explain to your child why it’s the best thing for the pet and give them time to say goodbye to their friend.

For all pet owners, the loss of a pet is an extremely difficult time, but one we know will come someday. Not to say that ever makes it easier to accept. But unfortunately death and loss are part of life. The loss of a pet can be an introduction to this aspect of life and if handled properly can help your child to better deal with loss later on in adulthood.

Some activities you could suggest to your child going through this difficult time are:

• Have them create a Memorial for their pet. This could simply be a drawing or poem that could be framed or a collage of photos. Something that they can keep with them to remember their pet.
• Have a short ceremony with the family to read a poem or talk about all the things you loved about your pet.
• Writing about how they feel. Sometimes just writing down their thoughts can help express how they feel.
• Volunteering at an animal shelter. I would not suggest doing this right away but it could help them continue to feel comfortable around pets.
• Spending time with friends
• Focusing on a favorite hobby

These compassionate and effective approaches are meant to help your child cope with their loss without making them feel like they should ignore their feelings or cause them to hang on to their pain. You can expect your child to be in a grieving process for a while, often going through the stages of loss. Just have patience with them, it can take several months. Offer your sympathy, sensitive advice and how much you love them.

For more information on Pet Loss and Pet Loss products, please visit www.PetsWeLoved.com

Pet Owners Have Options when a Pet Is Lost

My customers often ask me about options in burying their pets. Sometimes they aren't able to ask their Veterinarian so the pet owners are often confused about what to do. Typically when a pet passes away, there are 4 general options. Cremation – a pet owner can choose either an individual or communal cremation. Most people choose the individual service, which is more expensive, but it ensures their pet's ashes are not mixed with those of another pet. The ashes are returned to the pet owner in typically 5-7 days and often in a decorative tin or basic urn. There is also communal cremation, where multiple pets are cremated at the same time. Ashes are typically not returned and are often spread over a garden or responsibly handled by the crematory. Many pet crematories offer private viewings as well. Ask your Vet if this is something your interested in.
Country Burial - This may be called different things in different areas of the country but it’s basically when deceased pets are buried in a mass grave at an approved site. The Veterinarian will usually assist in taking the pet and working with the site owners to pickup the animal. This is a fairly economical option but may not sit well with most folks. Due to impact on the environment, this is increasingly being phased out as an option but still may be offered in more rural parts of the country.Burial at a Pet Cemetery – Most pet cemeteries I know do a nice job of setting the animal down and maintaining the plot so family and friends can visit. The cemetery will provide burial options including plot size, location and the type of caskets available. A good pet cemetery should take the time to go over all this information and not rush you through the process. Be aware that this is often the most expensive option. Fees for the plot and casket could range from several hundred to several thousand dollars and many pet cemeteries charge annual maintenance fees. You can visit the IAOPCC website (International Association Of Pet Cemeteries & Crematories) for a list of cemeteries in your area that are part of this organization at http://www.iaopc.com/ Home Burial – Probably the most common and least expensive option. Pet owners often choose to keep their pets on their property. Many pets are simply set down wrapped in a favorite blanket or in a home made or purchased pet casket. Be aware that local cities and towns may have regulation against such burial so you may want to check with them first before choosing this option. There are many choices in burying at home, providing the greatest level of flexibility in how it’s done. This includes purchasing a wood or non-biodegradeable pet casket, having a burial marker made, planting a memorial garden, etc. It may be a better option when there are small children in the house as well. They can be more involved in the preparation, ceremony and care of the site. This can often help in the grieving process. There are many options for pet caskets. At http://www.petsweloved.com/, we can help with many of these products. Don’t hesitate to ask your Veterinarian to explain the current options when a pet has passed away. They have spent years caring for your pets and they should be just as much help when they pass on.

Tradition and Choices

After being in the pet memorials business for over seven years now, I've found that there is a very distinct difference amongst pet owners - those that would never cremate and ones that would never have a burial - and almost never anyone on the fence between the two. Maybe those that bury were brought up strict Catholic, not sure. Up here in New England, where there is still a strong traditional Catholic population, there are still a significant amount of human burials versus cremations. And out in the western part of the country, it’s the opposite where there is a growing trend in cremations. People will tend to follow the same traditions as their family when it comes to caring for their pets. And that has proven true as a majority of pet casket orders have been for the east coast and mid-west Bible belt areas versus strong pet urn sales out west.

But there is one constant amongst the pet owners I’ve spoken to, they're all devastated by the loss of their pet. Regardless if the passing was expected or sudden, no difference – the pain is the same. We listen and we help them memorialize their pet however they would like. But more importantly, we understand - we have buried 2 beloved cats and cremated a sorely missed dog. Just about 2 yrs ago, we lost our beloved Choc Lab, Bailey - I'm still not over it. I sell pet urns and still can't bear to pick one out for her. Maybe someday…

We have a new dog, a 2 yr old black lab Mandie. My wife “adopted” her from a rescue group in Indiana. She was living on the street and needed a home. I was resistant to having another dog after we lost Bailey and I’m still having trouble accepting her. Again, maybe someday..

Options Available when Deciding on a Pet Burial

Losing a beloved pet is of course one of the hardest things we go through. What can be just as difficult is deciding how we take care of them once they are gone. Many pet owners prefer to have a traditional burial rather than cremate their pet. But even if you have already decided on a burial, there are still many options on how you can do this. The typical choices would be either in a pet cemetery or on your personal property.

Pet Cemetery
If choosing a pet cemetery, speak to several in your area if possible before deciding. Pricing and services can vary greatly so be sure to ask what’s included in the burial costs. Ask for a breakout of costs between the plot, casket and annual maintenance fee, if it applies. Some pet cemeteries will charge an annual “perpetual care” type fee to maintain the grounds. For the few that I am familiar with, they seem to do a nice job and could be worth the expense if that’s really what you would like to do.

Pet cemeteries will offer you pet casket options of products they carry. They are typically made from a polyurethane/plastic type of material so they will not degrade over time once placed into the ground. These pet caskets are water and air tight but some may be very plain in appearance. Pet cemeteries will typically not allow a wooden pet casket to be used since it will break down over time and the plot will need more maintenance once it does. Some cemeteries will offer vaults to avoid this but at a higher cost.

Home Burial
If choosing a home burial, make sure it’s okay to bury your pet on your property. In my experience, most cities and towns don’t enforce restrictions imposed on burying a pet on your property but if you’re concerned and want to be sure its allowed, please contact your town/city hall to check. At a minimum, most limitations include a minimum setback from water sources like wells, streams, rivers, etc to prevent any contamination. This is very important and should be taken into consideration when selecting a location.

If you prefer to bury your pet at home, then you have a much greater range of options.
You could simply wrap the animal in a favorite blanket and bury them directly. This is the most cost effective method but would not provide any protection for the animal. If chosen, be sure to dig at least 24” to prevent intrusion from area wildlife.

You could purchase one of the plastic pet caskets. They are relatively affordable but some can be plain and unattractive. If you ever intend to move your pet to another property someday, this would be a good option. Some have decorative outside finishes and liners that help with the appearance.

You could make or purchase a more traditional wooden pet casket. A lot of folks do it this way and it works just fine. If you don’t have tools or are inclined to do this, you may want to look into purchasing a wood pet casket.

If you prefer the look and feel of a solid wood pet casket and would prefer to purchase one, then be sure to ask some specific questions when contacting these companies. Be sure to ask the following questions:

CHOICE: Are they available in a variety of sizes and finishes?

COMFORT: Is there a lining inside the casket? And if so, do I have a choice of what it is? Many customers are comforted to know that there is a soft, elegant final resting place for their pet.

QUALITY: Are the caskets made here or are they purchased overseas? Be careful of imported wood products. Some are fine but many are made with inferior wood and quick construction and there’s no opportunity for a custom size if needed.

SERVICE: Can the pet casket be returned if not used? If it’s not an immediate need and you’re not pleased with the look and construction of the pet casket, it should be returnable for a full refund.

AVAILABILITY: How long does a standard pet casket take to be ready? Many of my customers have an immediate need for a pet casket so having a variety in stock is important for any pet memorial company.

I hope this information helps in deciding on final resting place for your pet. Please contact us if there are any questions we can help with.

Steve Mondazzi
www.PetsWeLoved.com
877-PetCasket (738-2275)

Don't feel like you're all alone in losing a pet

We very often speak to folks that feel no one else understands what they are going through when they lose a pet. That other people would think they are overreacting or being silly when they express remorse. Caring pet owners like myself and most folks that would read this blog can well understand how difficult it is to lose a pet. Don't feel alone, you're not. Not by a long stretch. Pets are dearly loved parts of the family and deserve being treated with respect, tolerance and love. When we lose a pet, it hurts - sometimes it hurts a lot. When it feels like its too much to bear and it effects our well being or those around us, then it may be a good to search out a professional to speak with. I truly believe there's nothing wrong with doing this. I am not a therapist or psychologist but only speak from experience. Sometimes reaching out to support groups can help. We have some articles from professional councilors and links to several support hotlines at http://www.petsweloved.com/bereavment.asp. I hope this information can be of help.
Thanks,
Steve Mondazzi
http://www.petsweloved.com/